“A handshake is a short ritual in which two people grasp their right or left hands, often accompanied by a brief shake of the grasped hands.
The handshake is initiated when the two hands touch, immediately. It is commonly done upon meeting, greeting, parting, offering congratulations, or completing an agreement. Its purpose is to convey trust, balance, and equality. Handshakes possibly originated as a gesture showing that the hand holds no weapon.
In Anglophone countries, men are more likely to shake hands than women, however in business situations it is considered the standard greeting for both sexes. It is considered to be in poor taste to show dominance with too strong a handshake, conversely, too weak a handshake (sometimes referred to as a “limp fish” or “dead fish” handshake) is also considered unseemly.” ~ source: WIKI
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I was invited yesterday by a client to join her, family and friends for the Grand Opening of her Filipino store. My husband and I arrived on time and as we walked inside the store, there was already a number filipinos present and it was a welcoming sight. One particular lady has greeted us since she knows us while my client was busy somewhere else and couldn’t be found, but it wasn’t a problem of course so I just waited until she showed up and we greeted each other. She was particularly excited that I showed up because she knew that I am not fond of socializing with many of my own around, I have my reasons.
With the bunch yesterday, I felt most of them though friendly, were shy and a bit timid. I have received plenty of warm smiles, which I also showered around (mind you I do not smile a lot, that’s according to my husband) I was pretty generous yesterday though i wasn’t feeling well.
At one point, I was called by my client to meet someone, a fellow filipina. I extended a hand which is very normal to me when introducing myself. I always give a firm handshake, not a suffocating one but firm that most of the people I shook hands with, have told me that for an asian, my handshake was ‘impressively firm and confident’.
But yesterday I wasn’t only given a dead fish handshake but the person I was being introduced to had, what seemed to me, a trace of disgust on her face and her eyes weren’t even looking at me while uttering a response to me introducing myself: “I don’t know her” (wincing, while looking at the one who was introducing us.) I found that a bit odd of a reaction. I thought that’s the whole point of an introduction, to be introduced. The entire time I was given a frowning face by the other party that also my client didn’t knew how to respond. Since I felt I was given the brush aside by the other party (though I still stood there for about a minute or two..LOSER am I not? ha! ha!) I had to excuse myself and said to the person: “it was nice meeting you“, simple politeness. I was on a friendly state yesterday, I thanked my stars for that! Eye brows didn’t flinch a bit. Good gal!
I knew I took a bath yesterday. Breath might not be fresh but also not offending. I was dressed properly only I towered at 5′9″ (on high heels) amongst the rest of the Filipinos around, I really felt like queen kong! Everyone I was talking to had to tilt their necks up, but it isn’t my fault that I’m tall. Was that one of the problems? I asked myself…. that I had this intimidating look you wouldn’t want to shake my hand? Some women yesterday also said they weren’t talking to me initially because they thought I wasn’t a filipino until they heard me speaking the language. I often get the latter reaction and appreciate their honesty.
But not the english speaking owner of the limpy handshake. She simply didn’t exist after her performance. My way of giving my other cheek.
grabe astig! pati ako napapatalon
Jayred said
August 5 2007 @ 1:12 pm
What an odd reaction from a fellow Pinoy. But come to think of it, I also get that kind of treatment here in Switzerland from other “kababayans” (especially those from the provinces; not that it’s bad to be from the province, of course).
Some even speak to me in Swiss German even though I converse to them in Tagalog. Funny.
Being introvert, I don’t apply for memberships in Filipino organizations here. I just stick to my Christian Pinoy group in church. But more than the introversion part, there’s another reason — and a real good one — why I steer clear from Filipino communities…. :-)
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It’s good that you decided to turn the other cheek, Thess. Why let that person steal away the joy in your heart, di ba?
Have a nice Sunday! God bless.
jeprocks said
August 5 2007 @ 1:43 pm
sa akin pag friends ko or acquaintance na may rapport na, tender and sweet pero pag businessy or colleague dapat strong, firm and may eye contact.
hehe
dom OSB said
August 5 2007 @ 4:05 pm
dito sa amin- ang mga bisita, whenever they greet me, or any of the monks , ay yakap at halik sa cheek ang kanilang form of greeting… hayyyy, kaya dapat lagi akong mabango at laging naka chest out pag may mga lady guests kaming nag-gi greet sa akin bwhahahahahahaha….
sardonicnell said
August 5 2007 @ 8:58 pm
you did the right thing thess, turning the other cheek. this is also one of the reasons why i carefully select the pinoy functions i go to. in as much as i love our own, some of them can be a bunch of snobs and airheads sometimes. must be that crab mentality! and to be honest most of them are busy impressing other people and not for camaraderie, which is the actual reason for all these gathering. right? but in fairness to all our kababayans, there are still some that are truly friendly and warm at heart. those are ones i can truly call, our fellow men.
ignore those “ill-bred” people nalang, and just look at the brighter side of things. try to keep that lovely smile on your face!
thess said
August 5 2007 @ 9:38 pm
JAYRED: Hi J! Sad that our own behave this way. Something I’ll never ever comprehend.
But you know what’s funny? she’s a christian too. But like you said, I didn’t let her take away my fun. She was just a speck afterwards and that was her own doing.
I hope your sunday is also good. Thanks for the visit and God Bless!
JEFF: I always give the same handshake no matter to whom. It’s always with warmth and welcome.
KUYA DOM: tiba tiba ka pala dyan!
Nakakakabag ka talaga pag bumirit he he! Wala pa ba yung post mo na pinakahihintay ko? buzz mo ako pag nandyan na ha?!!
btw, mas tibatiba ka pala dito, kasi 3x ang kiss-greetings…naku eh sa macho mo’ng yan, malamang pag ni greet ka ng dutch, samahan ng tongue ahahahaha! Nakakahawa ka, magtigil ka, heh! hahahaha!
SARDONICNELL: kapatid, inapi ako hu hu hu! (nagsumbong pa ha ha) Agree ako sa sinabi mo, sa lahat lahat! Ay oo, hindi ang katulad nya ang magpaparami ng wrinkles at uban ko, kaya syempre turn the other cheek na lang - suerte nga nya, hindi yung cheek ko na may tatak na ‘levis’ ang iniharap ko sa kanya eh *lol*
dom OSB said
August 5 2007 @ 11:56 pm
ayy , gusto kong makapunta diyan ….may Benedictine monastery ba diyan? at lilipat na lang ako bwhahahaahhaahah….
naku, joek lang– ang kuya mo pa? eh chaste celibate ako eh–nag si ‘celi- bate’ ako hehehehehehe….cheers kapatid nyahhahahahahaah…naku– walang double meaning yun ha? ni emphasize ko lang sau kapatid ko bwahahahahahaha..
teliling said
August 6 2007 @ 1:08 am
a speck of #@%$ or kulangot? mwihihi
sayang wala si Charlie para ipagtanggol ka, itaas niya yung kanyang left leg tapos sabay….
rhada said
August 6 2007 @ 2:16 am
alam ko kung bakit ganun sya….kasi kumukurot sya sa isda na isinawsaw sa patis at medyo maanggo ang kamay nya kaya’t bantulot siyang makipagkamay sa iyo. buti hindi mo na lang pinansin.
natatandaan ko sa isang party, may isang medyo may idad nang babae ang lumapit kay mommy sabay sabing “Sino ka?? Hindi kita kilala?!”. Si mommy dahil may pagka-mataray din ay sumagot ng “At SINO ka RIN?? Hindi RIN kita KILALA!!”. Atras si taklesang Pinay, habang ako naman ay napayupyop sa aking upuan (baka kasi magkarambulan eh, mahirap na). lol
kapag may bastos na kausap naman, sinasabihan nya ng “Buti pa ang damit, may etiketa, ikaw wala!”.
girlie said
August 6 2007 @ 5:35 am
that person you shook hands with is just plain rude…baka naman gusto nya eh beso, hehe. i can’t imagine na meron pa palang taong ganyan natitira dito sa mundo, arrrggghhh
cheh said
August 6 2007 @ 8:58 pm
ngotngot naman ang babaeng iyun, siguro kakambal yan doon sa naikwento ko sa iyo noon. Sarap Pagsasapatosin! ang aarte!!hala ang pusa kow hanu ba yan!!
btw mamasang,your assignment has been accomplished ;)
rose said
August 8 2007 @ 12:05 am
ate, pag tayo ang nagkita.. kiss sabay hug pa.. anong shake hands shake hands haha..
dapat tinarayan mo,. che! ang arte nya ha.. :cute::cute: sampalin ko sya ng mag asawang sampal eh.. haha
marie said
August 8 2007 @ 2:36 pm
Really rude
baka siya ang di naligo at nag toothbrush:hehe:
Jayred said
August 8 2007 @ 4:33 pm
She’s also a Christian? Hay. Baka “burn again.” (Bad joke)
angie said
August 6 2008 @ 5:36 am
guyz favor nman..i nid a reaction.. what do u feel about Filipinos being friendly and hostile??